KateP's musings

Dear Mom,     Well as expected my birthday has been fairly quiet.  As my usual Sunday morning I got up early and watched some TV, got online, and then got ready for bingo.     I have received many birthday wishes along with a few condolence messages mixed in.  I heard from Jim this morning and again this afternoon via email.  After I called Liz she called me back and we chatted and then made plans for dinner.  I picked Lassie’s.  We also talked about some of the bills that came up for your hospitalization from the hip (specifically the ambulance) again all of this will be discussed with BB after the weekend. I am not expecting anything bad from this but I hope BB doesn’t treat Liz rudely.  I know you had your reasons to pick him but he was obnoxious to her before you died.  She felt she was doing what needed to be done and if she submits bills to the estate I am afraid it may get ugly.   I guess I am saying I don...

Dear Mom,     Well its after lunch time and I had my all time (at least one of my all time) favorite and lazy lunches.  That would be open faced grilled cheese sandwich.  I did it in the microwave.  I sat down and watched the first of the LOTR trilogy.      I sent a few emails to Jim to let him know its on and to let him know there were prayer cards and the obituary here for him.  He doesn’t want it mailed to him yet.  That means he must be coming up again. I also finished the laundry for now.  I can strip the bed sheets from your room tomorrow (yes I know I am putting off tomorrow what could be done today-sue me).  I should be doing other things too but also putting that off as well. I did manage to get two new pen pals.  One is from Florida and the other is from the mid-west. I received two lovely cards today one from Cousin Frank and his wife and Marsha and Skip Z from the DTC.  I will put those with the ...

Dear Mom, Today-actually this afternoon will be exactly one week since you had your final slumber.  I wasn’t sure if I would do the “one week” post and how I would do it.  I am not sure how it feels.  The sun is shining I can hear a car pulling out and driving away.  The birds are still chirping although they seemed unusually quiet earlier this morning.  I have been awake for quite sometime now. I guess today I am going to do what I would do any other Saturday.  Do some laundry, watch TV, and stay in my pajamas at least until I have to go out if at all.  I don’t think I really need to get anything at the store today.  Maybe milk but I can get that in a day or two.  I was relieved to discover that John and Heather got their wedding present.  I had mailed their gift just as they were taking off for their Road trip to Florida in July and it looks like it caught up with them . Oh and I have put a search in for Pen pals.  I have already ...

Dear Mom. Well its now several hours after the last note.  I went over to Liz’s around two and went through the papers that were returned to us, the prayer cards that we can give out to people.  We went through the condolence cards and Liz made a call to the RRB.  I have huge list as well.  I have to see what the etiquette requirements are for regular condolence cards vs. Mass cards.   Well I just looked it up and Liz is right its if they give gifts or money.  While I was over there I had some soup.  It was probably considered lunch.  We also got a call from Aunt Rosemary and while we were looking through the cards we talked.  You name it we talked.  You are right.  She laughs at everything.  Anyway she did pass along some sad news.  Cousin Greg lost his wife Terri.  She passed just about the same time you did.  So I am sure she is up there with you please tell her we are thinking of her.  I am going to...

Dear Mom, Well it is now Friday afternoon.  Jim left to go back to Allentown about an hour and half ago.  I have classical Music playing in the background.  I was surfing the net and got your Obit from CTPOst and read the additional messages on the guestbook of the legacy.com that have come in the last day or so.  It was nice to see many names I recognized from Elinor R to Dave’s Friend Jim.  Jim K also sent a card as well. This morning has been fairly quiet.  I got up early and started watching TV, put clothes in the dryer and then when Jim got up we went to have breakfast.  We spent time talking about grief and he seemed impressed that I managed to get a lot done.  I am not sure I have gotten a lot done.  He tells me most people who have suffered a loss take to their beds for extended periods of time but I just keep remembering how you would remind me about the True Grit award I got when I graduated from 8th grade.  I just try to keep ...

Dear Mom,     I can’t begin to tell you how the last two days have gone.  Last night was an amazing testament to you and your life and the impact you had on the lives you have touched.  There was close to 400 people that came through the greeting line.  Many from Mental Health services, your friends, family, the literary club, the knitwits.  Many of your children’s friends and peers came as well.  LT Governor Nancy Wyman paid her respects, and of course our dearest friends Senator Gayle Slossberg,  St Representatives James Maroney, and Kim Rose presented us with a memorial Citation from the CT General Assembly.  The funeral today was just beautiful.  The weather was perfect.  There were at least 100 people at the funeral services.  The Pall bearers did an awesome job from start to finish.  Adam and  Cousin Don C  did wonderful job at the readings and Father C even managed a few appropriate Railroad related p...

Dear Mom,     Well this is the day.  The final goodbye begin.  I have been up a couple of hours but I  haven’t done anything productive except have coffee.  I had a restless sleep again.  My knee was hurting and the bruised rib from before you left has been a constant reminder of my less than graceful fall outside.  I haven’t been feeling well other ways too.  I hope it isn’t going to be happening all day.  I can’t keep running to the bathroom especially during the wake.     As I said I have been procrastinating on many things.  I have yet to iron the dresses I will be wearing the next two days, and I look around and see that I need to vacuum the rooms before anyone gets here.  In a few months I will get the rug cleaning done because there are spots again in the living room.     Jim called a couple of times this morning the first to say good morning and to ask  why we need to be at the fu...

Dear Mom, Today is going to be tough.  I had gotten a text from Liz that she also sent to Jim regarding some details for the funeral.  It came around 3 this morning and I was unable to get back to sleep.    I decided to get up and put the clothes in the dryer, empty the dishwasher and move some of the dishes back to their original cabinets.  Apparently Georgina moved dishes around while she was here.  She also left a glass of hers here too.  Not complaining here. I know this isn’t something you want to know you may already but there have been moments of disagreements on some aspects of your funeral.  I know you wanted a program for the service and I know you made arrangements with JM but the church doesn’t want them.  We originally all said that we wouldn’t do it out of respect for the priest.  It looks like we may not  do it.  Its basically between your two eldest children and I am stuck in the middle.  Although DB h...

Dear Mom, Well another day has come and gone.  This morning Liz and I ran around and did some errands and last minute details for your services on Wednesday and Thursday.  We brought you the suit you will be wearing and tomorrow I will be bringing your glasses along with some of your citations and awards you have gotten over the years.  We went and ordered the flowers that will be surrounding your casket and I think you will like the one I have for you that will be probably be laid by your head.  WE went to the caterer’s to discuss the bereavement meal and had lunch by the time that was all done I got back to the house by quarter of three. That’s when I listened to messages from our friends, family and peers including one of your dearest friends Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro.  She is currently out of the country but just for her to take time out to do that was awesome. I reviewed my lists and made a few more calls that ended up not being needed after all.  I a...

Dear Mom:: It has been over 18 hours since we said goodbye to you.  We made requisite calls to family and friends (I have a few more to make yet).  Our friend Seny posted a wonderful memorial to you on the Blog.  I am trying to find the meticulous preparations for your funeral you had made months ago so I can find the pall bearers list.  I haven’t found them yet  and that’s frustrating.  I nearly woke Jim up with my anguish.  He says he may have them at home.  Not really  helpful for the obituary to be submitted for this afternoon.  That’s just an observation. I am trying to keep busy this morning.  Doing some laundry, surfing the net.  In my usual fashion I posted messages to my lists and forums that you had passed away.  I have been getting wonderful messages from them and those of our friends and family. Oh and just to let you after several days of not seeing any rabbits they all came by last night to say good by...

On Saturday August 23, 2014 mother ended her battle with Pancreatic Cancer.   She is no longer in Pain. She was surrounded by her family and care givers.   She was 87 years old.   Services will be Wednesday and Thursday.   God Bless you Mom.

After a week long absence I returned to work albeit it was a short day for me as My boss urged me to be home with Mom as the end draws near.  Mom’s system starting shutting down over the weekend and the ICC hospice care has begun.  It started Sunday night after several visits from the agency over the weekend.  I have spent a lot of time with Mom as well as giving space for everyone else.  We have had many visits and we received floral arrangements and cards. Managed to get the land line cancelled and got an upgrade ($ off) my cellphone Right now though I am going to bed.

I was splitting my time between relaxing, spending a lot of time with Mom and clearing out the room.  I am heading to bed shortly but I was working on a set of desk drawers that had old pen pal papers that I am struggling to decide if I should just toss them or what.  I explained it at my Pen pal Blog earlier today. Liz stopped by just around lunch time followed by Cousin Donna.  It was pretty good.  After they left I went back to splitting my time relaxing and working on the room.  Late in the afternoon a new air mattress was delivered to the house.  We had to make sure Mom wasn’t in the bed when he arrived so we moved Mom to a chair in the living room and while Georgina cooked I stayed by her side and made sure she didn’t amble out of the chair. After dinner did some more paper tossing and some of it is stuff from work, health,  and other things from 2005 and earlier.  I don’t think I really need it but I may try to keep most of it. Tomorrow wil...

It is nearly midnight and I am heading to bed.  I would like to say I was in full quarantine mode for the fourth day in a row but I wasn’t.  I did some visiting with family members and friends who came to visit today but standing far away enough to give them safety.  Eventually I went back upstairs to watch TV. When I wasn’t watching TV I did do laundry.  I stripped the bed but haven’t made it.  I managed to organize a few dresser drawers and throw out some stuff.  I made some progress on the desk and top of the dresser but to look at them now you would never know it.  I also did some word search puzzles from a book I had when I was in the hospital a couple of years back.  I managed to do three or 4 of them tonight. I made a to-do list for the rest of the room and hopefully it will be tackled.  I still have papers to sort through and put in the various notebooks I have up there.  I am considering typing up notes for the Woman’s club minu...

I haven’t been feeling that great over the last few days.  I was achy or stiff and Thursday  I felt cold I had my blanket on at the office.  Happily by 10 I felt a little warmer but the stiffness was still there.   I was waking up what seemed like every two hours for the last coup of nights to go to the bathroom.  I feel like I am getting headaches.  They are not full on headaches but just the edge.  I had to wear my flannel pajamas to bed for the last few nights as well.  On Friday Liz looked at my leg and the blister and she had the idea it was Shingles.  On saturday it was confirmed by the doctor I saw.  So after I did some shopping and checked in with Liz I headed home and quarantined myself to the bedroom.  I haven’t eaten much but have had fluids and taking this huge horse pill for this.  I cancelled the rest of my weekend activities and in about 4 hours will be calling in sick. The Girls night out was very fun ...

I was expecting it to be raining all day Sunday  It was overcast and a few showers in the morning but the rest of the day was beautiful.  It wasn’t too hot but it wasn’t too cold for some of us. We did lose power for no more than five or six minutes when( we later would find out) that a car hit a telephone pole somewhere along the border of Woodmont and West Haven.   I was worried that it was in house but when I saw Sean walking around the neighborhood I was relieved to find out it wasn’t us.  It messed up the computer (Mom’s desk top) and now I have to contact TM or MVB to get some info.   Bingo was a full house and Marny was there.  There were a few moments she contradicted me when I  was giving some instructions which I didn’t appreciate but she is an employee and I guess I answer to her.  We had a full crowd like 26 players.  After bingo I went to church and then came home. IN the afternoon Mom went back on Hospice.  ...

As always I had a great time at the Mexican Train game with the everyone.  we even got to see a couple we haven’t seen in some time.  Anyway the conversations ranged from health to politics and even moving and relocating.  We had a lot of food.  I tried (probably unsuccessfully) to watch what I ate that could have an adverse affect on me but as usual when I get around food I tend to forget about it. We played until 10 when I hippity hopped home.   The next time we will get together is on September 20th.  That’s because  of holidays and prior commitments. When I got home Georgina had just gone upstairs but not to sleep yet.  We chatted about the evening and things in general.  She told me LIz came over shortly after I left.  I later discovered that Liz brought over several things for Mom and Georgina.  I seem to be missing her a lot lately. My sleep was interrupted again so I have been since 4 or 5.  I have spent ...

The whole house slept in today.  I couldn’t sleep because I had some things on my mind but I finally fell asleep and didn’t get up until 8.  I was all dressed and ready to go by 9.  Mom had just gotten up and ready for her day as well.  We went over the banking stuff.  We went over the grocery list and by quarter of ten I was out the door for my hair appointment. I got to the salon just  before 10. Jamie was still with another client and while she was finishing up I had my much needed cup of coffee and a piece of birthday cake.  It was one of the other stylists birthday.  I was there almost 45 minutes to an hour.  We talked about our activities and plans for the weekend.  My next appointment will be late September as Jamie is going on vacation the week before. Once i left the salon my first place was heading to the store.  The rain was continuing from early morning.  I decided that I would take the highway from one point i...

For the last couple of nights I have had a slight battle with sleep again.  I am not exactly sure what kept me up the first night  but I got online to figure out how to fix Mom’s problem with her email..  I printed the instructions out but I don’t think it will work.  I am going to suggest that she go to her web based mail.  Last night I had some trouble with the aches and pains but managed to get sleep around 4.  I stayed in bed a long time again.  I did all that I could do and managed to say good morning to Mom. Mom was so tired yesterday she had visitors and the Nurse came for the final home visit.  He recommended that she not wear the slippers as they are contributing to her swollen feet and so now she can wear those socks with grippers.  Maureen came for the final time with a promise to come back and visit.   After dinner I did some laundry and Mom eventually went to bed.  Since there wasn’t any thing on TV I wanted to s...