KateP's musings

  Friday was an anniversary or two my family said goodbye to Mom as she succumbed to pancreatic cancer.   She died with us around her and the Nursing staff that Liz got for her so that she would not die in a nursing home or hospital.   It was a very stressful and hard time.   Relationships were strained between siblings; I continued to work while mom was being cared for until the final days.   So called friends would interfere in things they had no right to.   In the days leading up to the funeral some preparations had changed.   Jim had gone home to do some things and returned in time for the funeral service and his family followed.   I remember how annoyed Liz was at his behavior and treatment of her.   It frustrated me because it was unnecessary.   Just as we were saying goodbye to Mom, the world was welcoming a four different short haired kittens.   They were eventually brought to Woodbridge Animal shelter.   Where they...

  Today is my niece in law Jennifer’s birthday.   I am not sure what age she is but she is a wonderful person who is a loving, caring and inclusive of her step children. That would be Chris’s older children from a previous marriage. They are expecting their second child as of three days ago.   I would imagine since I haven‘t gotten a text or phone call from Liz he hasn’t arrived yet. Yesterday was fairly quiet.   I emptied a few more boxes from the kitchen and put the dishes in any spot for now.   I just want to be able to walk around the kitchen without walking into boxes.   I also spent a lot of time watching TV. I received some bills the car insurance payment I have been waiting on was paid or at least scheduled to be paid now.   The renter’s insurance letter and policy is confusing and I put in some calls to my insurance agent but he hasn’t returned my call.   I don’t know if I owe more money on the house or more for the condo.   Th...

Today would have been my Dad’s 94 th Birthday.   I have been doing a lot of ‘What if’s lately.   What if he didn’t have high cholesterol, or kidney failure, or the alcoholism that affected his and our lives.   He battled the alcoholism before he died but it had lasting effects.   Would he be frail?   Would his memory be going like his sister RM?   Would his illnesses have caught up with him now?   As it did with his late Sister Patty? I wonder if he would have been able to take care of Mom during her last days.   I wonder what the relationships would be with my remaining siblings.   I wonder so many things and sometimes I am glad he didn’t survive because I don’t know what would have happened. So Today is Friday and it’s raining on and off.   Still humid. The sun is supposed to come out in the city and rain all day back home.   Hopefully an early morning crisis has been averted.   One of the admins is waiting on a piece ...

G00d Morning and Happy Birthday America!   This has been a year hasn’t it? It can only get better I think.   WE have gone through so much only to show we can be resilient.   So last night I watched most of the Wrath of Khan and a little of the Search for Spock.   I had gone outside to see where the fireworks were being shot off from.   I could barely see them and they were really loud either but I did walk to the end of my street and looked towards West Haven and noticed there were some that way.   I am figuring it was near the HS or grounds of a couple of schools nearby Sky was sitting on the sofa above my head and then took off.   I found them both at either end of my old bedroom.    There are only 4 places that are officially holding firework displays this week in the area.   Of course I was surprised when I heard them until I went outside and it had stopped raining. Today has been a normal day (well accidently pocket dialing the...

Today is my sister’s birthday.   She turned 65 this year and has been doing all the Medicare search and paperwork this past week or so.   She showed me the books that have all the programs for her particular chosen Medicare deal.   I call it deal but I know that’s not the right word.    I remember when Mom had to choose her Medicare health and then renew it every year.   It sucked.   I am not looking forward to that day when I have to choose a Medicare package.   Luckily I don’t have to for now. She will be spending her birthday fairly quiet.   She will probably see her son and then talk with grandchildren via skype or facetime and then do her regular Sunday activities. Since the pandemic and quarantine she rarely goes anywhere other than to the store, or doctor appointments.   She isn’t anxious to go to the reopening’s of anywhere including church.   Don’t blame her.   Well it seems that the “argument “between Cousin J and...

Today is AlexW’s birthday.   He is my trainer from the gym and is the sweetest and really funny guy.   Who is also old enough to be my son if I were to have a son.   I would be lying if I said I told him everything I have eaten during our time as trainer client.   I eventually do tell him in round about ways.   Sometimes I do listen to him and sometimes…well, I do what I want.   Like yesterday with the oatmeal cookies.   He asked me if I would be interested in the Virtual personal training sessions and I am I just not comfortable with the method of payment he wants to use (the Venmo).   I haven’t given my answer yet.   I don’t want to hurt him but this method has had issues from people (none that I know personally but I don’t want the problems these people have had.   He did like the birthday wish I sent him. So I woke up during the night for a few reasons, the radio was acting weird and I heard noises outside.   It sounded like...

The rain indeed came through sometime around 3.   There was a light rain when I got up at 6 this morning.   It started to clear an hour later and the sun was pushing through and it still pushing.   The temperatures are supposed to get back into the 70s.   It may continue to rain later. I was so tempted to turn the thermostat back up but I still had the bedroom windows open.    I went online to look for guidance on when you turn the thermostat off and they say not to…if that’s the case why do they have an off button?   Why would you want the thermostat on during the summer months?   It would be too hot.     The Furnace is still feeding the hot water tank (I always think the two are separate).   I guess no matter how many times you explain it to me it won’t make sense. I still haven’t heard from Chairman Phil acknowledging the email from yesterday.   It’s the second time this week he hasn’t said anything.   I ...

Today is my Nephew John’s Birthday.   I don’t know how old he is, but he is the middle child of my late Brother’ Bob’s and SIL Ethel. He came to this country from Taiwan in the late 80’s with his family and I can remember he was very shy. The first night he was in our home he had woken up and everyone but me was sleeping.    He was crying because he didn’t recognize anything or see anyone familiar.   I came downstairs and we played at the kitchen table.   He along with his siblings experienced a lot.   Family discourse, new schools, new ways of life, my father dying, and then luckily their relationship with my Mother was repaired, he experienced High School, and going into the Army experiencing war, the loss of his own father, and much later his grandmother.   Experiencing the joy of his own wedding and most recently the dissolution of his own marriage.   He is currently stationed in North Pole AL as Medic.   He has two dogs the malamu...

I would like to thank everyone for the birthday wishes i received throughout the day!  It is very much appreciateD and I am most grateful..  Today I turned 56 and as usual i start to think about the future.  I think about my goals for the year.  What can I change , what should I change, Would could be different?.  I have to say it's the same things I think about and write about all the time.  TEam Lead Patty promised to have a special breakfast on Tuesday when we return from the weekend.  I got lots of hugs, and a box of chocolate from TEam Lauren and cute conversation with Supervisor Bob (his son is my birthday twin). Tonight I had my session with DEbra.  We discussed my birthday and the situation with Liz.  She was hopeful that soon it would be over since we both made inroads to contact each other.  We talked about work, and the activities that I am participating in. When my session was done I headed back to the office to ca...

My Birthday is drawing to an end.   It was quite lovely.   I have been receiving many birthday greetings on FB and at work.   I also received a few at tonight’s DTC meeting.   I haven’t been really in the mood to celebrate.   I have been really angry this past week.   On Sunday Liz and I had gotten into it about my housecleaning. She had been here earlier that day to put the new sheets and mattress cover on it with us and a friend.   She wasn’t happy.   When I called her later that day she started in on me about how the cleaning woman wouldn’t be able to move there was things in every corner of the bedroom. Under my breath I told her to shut the fuck up and she says to me “you call me a fucking asshole we are done” So she hung up on me.   I almost sent her an email but stopped myself completely and called Debra. A day later Liz sent me an email.  In the email she apologized for upsetting me she acknowledges she should not be ju...

Yesterday  would have been my Dad’s 91st birthday.I sometimes wonder what he would have been like if he had been healthier (multiple illnesses).  He still had some daily demons that he dealt with but he was a good man to me.  I wonder if he would be suffering from alzheimer's, or would he be fine?  Or would it not make a difference.  Really things that in the grand scheme of reality doesn’t matter he isn’t here but I do think of him often. I can’t believe July is over.  One month from yesterday is my birthday (I always considered myself a belated birthday gift for Dad).  I will be the speed limit.  This year is going by fast ( it always does this time of year).   The first two weeks of August will be a little busy for me.  Some of it is health related (doctor’s appointments, and infusions, and some procedures-crown inputting).  The rest will be entertainment and fun stuff.  Volunteering will always be part of it. This...

I had these big plans to be up at dawn get Vlad and Preston all taken care until this afternoon and then head back home to get things done there.   Well I stayed in bed until 6 (I didn’t sleep well) then got the boys taken care of. I almost had anxious moments when Vlad walked out into the outer hallway of the apartment I had to grab him and put him back inside.  He wasn’t pleased but I made sure i made it up to him when I got back from walking Preston.  I did manage to feed the menagerie. The sun was pretty much risen when I got to the house.  I stopped at DD for some coffee and came here. The kitties were waiting for me on the stairs and came to me when I walked in. I started working on the cheesecake (setting up the cream cheese ) and then I fed them.  They were very vocal at that point.  I got them fed and then started looking at the ingredients and realized I forgot the lemon.  I ran to the grocery store and got the lemon. When I got h...

Yesterday started very early for me.  I woke up around 4 and decided to get up and have coffee and watch TV and check on the kitties.  Well they thought “Great we get fed early”.  They didn’t.  They got fed their normal time of around 5:30. I left at a good time and got to work on time. When I arrived at my desk I found wonderful gifts of food, flowers, balloons, and eventually more cards, and through the day many birthday wishes from my FB friends and family.  I was still thanking many by the time I went to bed last night. I met my sister and BIL for dinner at Jimmie’s Apizza here in Milford and we shared each other’s pizza’s.  We didn’t have dessert there but I did when I got home.  I found a floral arrangement waiting for me on the porch and they were from Jim.  The kitties were enjoying the flowers too.  I slept on the couch last night just so they wouldn’t try to eat it.  I had to find the spray bottle.  I am think...

Today would have been my father’s 90 th birthday.  That’s to say if he didn’t have the health problems he had 25 years ago.  Today three of his children got together for coffee at Café Atlantique.  Each of us have very different memories and views of Dad. Of course by the time he died he was a recovering alcoholic and even then he may be viewed as not the greatest.   The relationship between my two older siblings is tenuous at best and I had mixed feeling and apprehensions about this.  I wanted it to go well.  It did very well.  We talked about family history and who took care of who and it didn’t break into arguments.  Although some of it made me a little uncomfortable because I was reminded that things had not been so good even before I came into the world. Jim headed home after the coffee date and Liz and I went our ways.  I had cat food and litter to get and a short time to get it.  I still had bingo to go to and some st...

Today has been quite a day.   Extremely hot for most of it.   It was humid before 8 am.   It has cooled off considerably but I also put the fans on upstairs hoping the air would circulate down here.   Not sure that worked. I was expecting the Home health nurse to come for a visit and I ended up having to call her just before I left for my sister’s.   It turns out she is coming tomorrow by 8:30.   She is allergic to cats.   She asked me to put them somewhere else.   They will probably do that on their own. I also called the office to remind them I wouldn’t be coming in this week and LC called me back and suggested I call HR for the FMLA packet.   I explained I got that started earlier in the month.   I was just waiting for the Doctor to sign and fax it.   Do you know what I did next?   I called HR to see if they ever received the packet and they didn’t.   My next call was to the Dr.’s Office.    They sai...

Dear Mom, Its late day now, and thankfully I have managed to get stuff done.  The chairs got done despite my tripping over my feet and falling.  I didn’t fall far but it was embarrassing.  Nothing is broken including the chair.  I got the vacuuming done and managed have some lunch.   Today is Diane’s birthday.  I did manage to post to her line along with everyone else.  I have never been good with the kids birthday to be honest.  Although they are adults I am sure it still hurts. I had these lofty idea to have steak for dinner (it was still frozen) so I checked the cooking books and it either needs 12 hours (in the refrigerator) or 4 hours room temperature.  Well when I decided to think about dinner it was too late.  So have it marinating in oil and garlic.  I have a potato wrapped in aluminum to cook it tomorrow.  I ended up having an open faced cheese sandwich.   Now I am just watching TV and am done for the...

We use Calendars to keep our lives and appointments straight.  I have been using the online calendars that are available as well as my outlook calendar and my work calendar.  For the longest time I wouldn't put my personal appointments (after work hours) on the work calendar now I am beginning to re-think that idea.  My question is What calendars do you use and do you find it useful?  Do you put your personal appointments on your work calendar? I had my colonoscopy consult yesterday  It took just  about 45 minutes of vitals, and reviewing history and what I can expect to happen and why.  Then we scheduled it for mid July.  I talked with Liz and she will be bringing me that day. I got to the office just after 10 and got to work I started to work on the lockbox and then the second run came so I was working on both for the rest of the day.  It was completely done by the time I left for the day.  We had a cake for Nadine who starts he...

March 17, 2014 Dear Friends: Happy St Patty’s Day to ye all.  May the Luck  of the Irish be yours this day.  It is also my maternal Grandmother’s birthday.  There is already some debate of her age but I believe she would be 116 today.   When she was alive we (and before dementia and alzheimer's took over) we would have huge family parties.  Sometimes it would be at her house, Aunts and Uncles, and of course our own.  We did have it once at the HOliday Inn Restaurant (now its a Old Navy store) near the highway.  The family would come from all over sometimes from across the county and it would be a family reunion of sorts.  Now we get together when we can for family reunions. Work went well.  I got to the garage in plenty of time to walk with both Mary and Ann but it sure was cold.  I worked on the re-address mail until the lockbox came and then back to that when that was done.  The overall volume was pretty good that...