KateP's musings

My father passed away 37 years ago, mainly due to a ruptured plastic aorta he had received earlier.    It was tension with the siblings.   The Funeral was big.   Lots of people came and I think we got condolence cards for days.   I don't visit the cemetery because I keep memories and photos of my parents and brother. Today, I'll be cleaning the house and, hopefully, working on taxes.    I'm anxious about finances after overpaying some bills, which forced me to move money and strain my savings. Laura called me early this morning; we chatted about various topics, and she offered to lend me money, which I declined.    I would feel terrible and uncomfortable. I've finished last night's dishes and prepared some for tonight that are Sky's.   Additionally, I have standard dishes available for use. The dryer's ball bearings are squeaking again.    When it rains it pours.   It hasn’t blown up.   There is melted residue...

  I must begin this entry with an apology for the symphony of chirping crickets lately.   I have been going through some challenging times since Tropical storm Isaias.   The day after it hit I noticed the gutter needed repair and so I called my lawyer/Trustee (if you have been following me for while it was set up long before Mom died) to let him know it needed to be fixed.   He didn’t see it but came and surveyed the property and started a bullying campaign to reissue the whole “we need to put the house on the market” .   We argued and by the end of the conversation he hung up on me.   He sent me a very insulting voice mail by the end of that same week after my brother spoke to him.     My family and I met at the beginning of the week with my therapist to discuss what could be done but came to the conclusion that it isn’t worth fighting him.   We are not giving in but I cannot afford to manage this big house. My brother spoke to him and got...

Today would have been my Dad’s 94 th Birthday.   I have been doing a lot of ‘What if’s lately.   What if he didn’t have high cholesterol, or kidney failure, or the alcoholism that affected his and our lives.   He battled the alcoholism before he died but it had lasting effects.   Would he be frail?   Would his memory be going like his sister RM?   Would his illnesses have caught up with him now?   As it did with his late Sister Patty? I wonder if he would have been able to take care of Mom during her last days.   I wonder what the relationships would be with my remaining siblings.   I wonder so many things and sometimes I am glad he didn’t survive because I don’t know what would have happened. So Today is Friday and it’s raining on and off.   Still humid. The sun is supposed to come out in the city and rain all day back home.   Hopefully an early morning crisis has been averted.   One of the admins is waiting on a piece ...

It has been 30 years since my Dad passed away from a myriad of illnesses.  Most prevalent was (to my memory) kidney failure, but he had a host of other issues.  Lupus, High Cholesterol, a plastic aorta that was rupturing.  He spent the last few months of 1988 in the hospital.  Stressful beyond belief.  For everyone.  I think of him a lot but don’t go to the cemetery much. I have many memories of him as well as pictures around that brings on memories.  He was buried two days before my Mother’s and Brother’s Birthday and my Brother’s wedding anniversary. When his anniversary comes up I don’t usually post to social Media.  The memory usually is different for both Jim and Liz.  I am pretty sure the next time I see Liz she will bring up events that happened around then and how she felt victimized.  Jim might be a little more understanding and reflect on how he behaved. So today was another day of single digit temperatures in the mornin...

sad new s over night as an Iconic regional theater burns to the ground.  It was a theater that had produced featured Shakespearian productions and in later years could be used for other things until it closed in the early 80s.   I am sure i went there but no memory of it.  I just also knew about it because people talked about it.  I let Jim know about it and when I write Telka I will tell her about it. So how did the walk go this morning?  Joan had to work and Alice couldn’t make it and only one other person let us know they were not able to come.  So i pretty much walked the same route as last time but not as long.    I was finished by quarter of ten.  I was home 15 minutes later.  No mud bath or injuries. The funny thing is if I continued down on Rivercliff I would have been on a street that the Post Office frequently confused our mail with.  Quite often we would get the mail  for Grove Circle delivered to us...

I decided to take it easy this weekend.   The last few days were exhausting and fun.   Thanksgiving dinner at my niece and nephew’s home was wonderful.   It was a lovely day.   The kids were funny and the best part is Olivia my great niece gravitated towards me a lot.   She willingly sat on my lap more than a few times.   I am lucky if I get a hello from her.     I was there until about 4:30 or so and then we came home.   A short time later we back in Milford.   After that I came home and scrambled to get the bed made for when my friend Karen came. Karen is my HS classmate and friend.   We shared quite an adventure with another friend and it was a tough those years.   More for her then me.   We also worked together back in the late 80s and our relationship faded again.   We reconnected a few more times after that and most recently on FB.   We spent most of thanksgiving night catching up on life. ...

Yesterday was St Patrick’s Day.   It was also my maternal grandmother’s 119 th Birthday. We had some great celebrations for Nanny (she didn’t like being called grandma) over the years.   Some at restaurants and later at family homes.    Her Siblings all died in their 90’s except for one that was Aunt Helen.   She died at 104.   My last memories of Nanny were she was in her house until was 90 we had a woman come and care for her when the children and grandchildren couldn’t.   Eventually she went into the nursing home when she deteriorated by dementia.   She was feisty almost to the end. A lot of people were dressed in green in the office.   I didn’t.   Not even the socks that Dr. T gave me last week.   I had a very good chat with EV regarding the support of Local 33 and I have to say I am understanding it little more.   Also the importance of being a united front on issues as well.   Now that some scanning is bei...

Today has been turning out to be quite a day.   I got up early to feed the cats and have coffee and do a few odds and ends that have ended up being “done”.    I called my sister and got an invitation for coffee so I quickly showered and dressed and high tailed it over.   Expecting to see my nephew already there.   He came later with our Cousin Greg.   He is a very talented musician in the local music landscape (Between Providence and New Haven).   He is having dinner with his brother Chris and his family. We spent nearly two hours talking about family, and history, and relationships.   I guess its stuff that every family does at one time or another.   I left there just about noon just to be home in time for Jim. I had sent a message to Jim thinking he had left his place at 9 and he tells me he hadn’t left yet (it was after 10 by this time) and he would be alone.   No kids.   He should be here by 2 pm.   This was ra...

Today was the Funeral home Holiday Memorial Service and it was a bit harder than I expected.  It actually was quite lovely.  There were at least 20 or thirty people  in attendance and  the deacon from St Mary’s read some passages from a Rabbi’s manual? (at least that’s what I thought he said)  and the list of all the family members that passed this year (many included people I knew or heard of from  the town) and of course there was a pewter ornament in the shape of an antique street lamp with Mom’s name and Birthday and  DOD.  I held it together up until the Lord’s Prayer.  I held hands with Liz and then I started to cry.   Afterwards refreshments were served.  Then we went out to a Christmas tree that in the parking lot in the Gazebo and found Mom’s name on a ribbon.    Shortly after that we headed back to Liz’s house. Liz was going to take a rest before coming back here to tackle the daunting job of  ...

November 26, 2013 Dear Friends: It is a cold and cloudy morning and it is supposed to get worse as the day goes on.  Rain is expected mid to late day and it is supposed to be heavy.  I am prepared to take home the boots that have been here since last winter.  (ewww). I got up around 5 and started picking up stuff and straightening up and making the bed this morning before getting ready for work.  Olivia was supposed to come around 8 this morning.  She apparently did change the sheets on my bed.  I am not really happy with that because they were just changed Sunday and they were the fleece for warmth.  Oh Well its cleaned that’s all that’s important. Work was busy had lots of lockbox still have to finish opening it tomorrow.  The second wind and the final round were light.  I managed to get it delivered late this afternoon.  I had the opportunity to serenade two people for their birthdays today.  The first one was to Susan a...